Part 3
CHAEYOUNG’S POV
It wasn’t love at first sight, that I am sure of. My feelings towards Mina isn’t something that happened one fine day, or through a touch of shoulders when we pass each other down the hallway, or by a brush of fingers as I help her keep the door steady at the cafeteria when a group of rowdy teenagers ignore how it is made of glass and runs ahead anyway. It’s not like a snap of a finger and BAM! I’m in love. No, I refuse to fall under that cliché.
My love for Mina is more like a collection of moments. Page by page, section by section, she fills my days of thoughts about her, of her, and then I knew …
Okay, I don’t know when exactly it happened. But I know how.
She will be sitting there at the bleachers looking at the soccer team’s star player. She never misses a game or a practice. Her face will always light up as soon as Nayeon looks at her, her cheeks will blush when the athlete hugs her closely after a win. I notice how her head will hung low as she tries to hide her eyes with jealousy whenever Nayeon talks with other girls. I know how her smile falters a little while the senior turns to introduce her latest girlfriend to her.
You see, it became my habit to look at Mina looking at Nayeon.
One day at practice, Mina isn’t at her usual spot, and it’s unsettling. Instantly, I’m feeling queasy, with an uneasiness bubbling right there in my gut that I can’t explain. Nayeon wasn’t at the field as well.
Knowing something’s amiss, I went looking for Mina. And true enough, I saw her with Nayeon, the latter scolding her about something I didn’t bother to understand. All I see is how Mina stifles a sob, tries hard, as Nayeon walk away red in the face and annoyed, a girl grabbing at her arm, a satisfying smirk on her lips. New girlfriend I presume.
I saw Mina at her usual place the following week watching Nayeon, again. I walk over and smiles at her. I took out a note and handed it to her. She was surprised, even blinked a couple of times, and mouthed a wordless question ‘for me’. I nod my head and moves the piece of paper closer to her, waving it slightly. She smiled and looked at me suspiciously but reaches for it anyway.
Mina passed me a folded paper the next day and went her way. It was so brief the encounter could just be a product of my imagination if not for the paper inside my palm.
I grinned immediately when I recognize that Mina used the same piece of paper to reply.
———-
MN: “I’m stuck, I can’t move forward.”
CY: “You can. I can show you how. If you’ll let me …”
After exchanging a dozen of notes with Mina, days at a time, sometimes weeks, I bravely replied like this. It’s a risk, and I know it will hurt me so if she freaks out and stops writing me back because of my boldness and impatience. But it’s a risk I have to take if I want us to go somewhere.
And the change began …
———-
Mina started to accept me slowly. She began to entertain my phone calls and accept my random gifts. I know that the person she loves isn’t me. However, her little gestures like joining me at lunch one time, letting me drive her home or buy her coffee, emboldens my heart and pushes me to believe that someday, hopefully soon, she’ll completely accept me and return my feelings.
I kept persevering and didn’t shy away from declaring my love for her. Every time though Mina will divert the topic away, shaking her head and giving my arm a gentle slap. Nevertheless, I never give up. I decided when I first gave her that note or maybe when I witnessed her crying one painful afternoon, or perhaps long before that, on one of the many times I saw her sitting alone looking at Nayeon lovingly, that I want to make her mine. I will use this opportunity Mina gave me to know her better and discover the things that makes her happy. I will use all means to win her over, I swore to myself.
In one of our evening phone calls, I confessed my feelings to Mina once again, not passing up the chance to tell her how much I really like her. Feeling a little bit disheartened at Mina’s lengthening silence, I decided to change the conversation myself, mentally adding another point to my ‘rejection moments’ book.
“What are you doing tomorrow? I am planning to visit a butterfly garden across town, interested?” I casually asked.
“Tell me again.” Mina says barely a whisper. Probably zoning out and didn’t hear me clearly, I repeated what I said moments ago, a little louder this time.
“Tell. Me. Again.” Mina is emphasizing at each word making me more confused.
Has Mina’s hearing gone bad now?
I told her slowly the same thing for the third time. And I’m already pulling at my hair upon hearing Mina scoff at the other end, a long sigh subsequently follows. “Tell me again.” She said once more.
Am I saying it wrongly, why can’t she understand me?
“Tell me again, Chaeyoung,” Mina then softly continues, “ask me again to be your girlfriend.”
Now it’s me who turns deaf.
“What?” I couldn’t believe what I just heard. My ears are ringing and my heart pounding loudly against my ribs isn’t of any help.
Mina chortles, “I said ask me again to be your girlfriend, Chaeyoung.”
I couldn’t hold back my squeal.
I hung up the phone soon after, dressed up quickly and rushed to Mina’s place. I hugged her tightly the moment she opened her door.
<Mina deciding to let go of HER first love is because of my unrelenting persuasion. Or because Nayeon loves her too yet never asked her to stay?>