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It is a tough year for my family.

The loss of our Lola who passed away January 02 still stings, and now we lost another member of our family. My uncle. He died last September 03 due to depression. Yeah, I strongly believe that it was the reason he died.

He was depressed about his job, his wife and his health.

He lost his job a month ago when he was diagnosed w TB. Doctors asked him to rehabilitate for a year before they could give him clearance to work again.

He lost contact of his wife, who just came back 2013 after leaving him for another guy for 20-plus years. Before he got sick, he was supporting her kids and sending money to her in the province. But when he can’t work anymore, and the one who needs taking cared of, she just vanished. Again.

Depression kills! It was a sad reality. It kills your desire to live. And when this monster invaded your system, your hopes, even your faith, disappears into thin air.

You stop smiling. You don’t see the reason for it.

You stop talking and communicating to your friends, even to your family members.

You wanted to be alone, even when your loneliness is making you weak.

You only want to stop. Everything. Eating. Sleeping. Believing. Living.

I don’t want to blame her for coming back. I truly believe that my uncle loved her still that’s why he accepted her back into his life. I wanted to believe that he was happy w her, even if it’s just for a little while.

Now, we are moving on. Everyone is trying, I should say. We keep ourselves busy with our life’s routine. Work is the best diversion if you ask me. But sometimes grief strikes you at moments that you aren’t even thinking of him or of what has happened. It shows its ugly face during your coffee break; you experience something like a heartburn when the radio airs a sad tune; it creeps in when you are getting ready to sleep.

I don’t think people move on when you lose a member of your family. I think we learn to adapt and deal with the pain. We carry it with us wherever we go, whatever we do, we just learn to continue breathing and living with that baggage called PAIN.