Having someone to confess to you their adoration and affection does not always come with that giddiness and eruption of butterflies in your chest, a burst of rainbow colours and unicorns and all that jazz they write about in novels and played in the movies.
That’s not always the case.
There is always a chance that this person feels conflicted and resentful for having those feelings towards you, that they will explicitly tells you in a flurry of words that this (re)discovery is a baggage they don’t want to carry and wishes hard for not to have happened, a huge mistake; and in turn them asks – begs – for you to help get rid of.
When that is laid out in front you, is there even a point to an answer? Will it even matter that for a briefest of second you entertained the thought that yeah, I would like you in my life but I don’t know yet how to navigate through it, when you knew you are a regret they long to leave behind themselves? I guess not huh.
There’s really just so much push-and-pull that can be done until it is hard enough, harsh enough for it to finally cause real damage – something akin to eartquake that shakes you awake and makes you tell yourself hey, aren’t you tired? Stop.
Maybe that’s what you really want, that I should see, and it’s all for the better and everyone’s peace, so, yeah, I will do that.
a t h e n a r e i 